Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Star Trek Women

Remember Star Treks TNG episode " The Host?"

Chief Medical officer, Dr Beverly Crusher gets the shock of her life when she falls in love with a trill humanoid who checks out rather unexpectedly. A gob smacked Beverly soon discovers that her sweetheart Ambassador has a weird creature entity called 'Odin' lurking inside him, ultimately in dire need of a new body. So a new replacement host body is duly ordered to join with the 'Odin creature' whose memories and wealth of experiences are shared and live on with the current trill host. Poor Dr Beverly can do little but wait desperately with rising hopes for the arrival of her lovers new Trill host body.

As time passes Beverly Crusher's heart sinks to the deckplates to learn that the new host is not exactly a dream come true. The new talking, walking trill receptacle is a female!!! Little time is wasted and an urgent operation inserts 'Odin' into the Trill female body whose face lights up when the joining is complete. Odin's memories are immediately shared with the Trill who trys to move in on Beverly, picking up where the previous Ambassador/Odin trill left off.

Em, No thanks. says Beverly politely, completely devastated, "maybe one day, humans will be capable of more." In other words, No chance, Mr or Miss whatever you are, you and I just ain't happening so forget it. Gates Mc Fadden is brilliant in this episode, Crusher took the news well don't you think?

TNG's episode "Booby Trap " is where Geordie does his best to get it on with Christy on the holodeck. He spends several hours perfecting the ideal lovenest holodeck programme only for it to end in disaster. - Yeah, I know, don't tell me, I'm the perfect nice guy.- says Geordie trying to save face. Why does Geordie have such bad luck with babes on the holodeck?

Later on the daft begger snogs a female hologram with surprising results. In The Next Generation, Susan Gibney plays Doctor Leah Brahms in episodes "Booby Trap" and "Galaxy's Child", appearing as a holographic character in the first, and as a "real" person in the second. Geordie the Chief engineer activates the hologram, Dr Leah Brahms in the holodeck and after talking to her, the Chief Engineer figures, ouch, freezer woman, we've got to make a few adjustments to her original programming. So, with the wizardry of the Enterprise, Geordie adds a few personal touches of his own to make her more receptive and affectionate to his needs. Of course the tweaks are all in the engineer's line of duty whos trying to save the Enterprise. So the daft beggar eventually gets to kiss his babe at long last! Sure it was just a goodbye present, right?

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In "Galaxy's Child the real Leah Brahms arrival causes quite a commotion. Geordie is so pleased with himself and can't wait to meet the real Leah in living color. He knew everything about Leah Brahms from her Starfleet records and believed the love magic was gonna happen. Great - I know her.

Like a lovesick teenager falling all over the place, hanging on to her every word, Engineer Geordi plans his big move. In real life Leah Brahms is the proverbial freezer woman and reacts angrily when she discovers what hes been doing to HER starship engines.(She originally designed them at the Utopia Planetia Shipyards) Later, on her own, Leah finds Geordie's hologram re-creation of her on the Enterprise holodeck and all hell breaks loose. Its so funny.

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In the "Naked Now" the Enterprise crew get infected and start acting real weird when they return from an away mission. Tash Yar, a real stunner in this episode and a sight for sore eyes, sets her sights on Data the android, adding him to her list of conquests. With a mischievous expression on her face, she corners Data and her eyes light up. Data is naturally baffled but doesn't resist her advances towards him. Tasha is in complete control of the situation.

" Data, You are fully functional aren't you ?"
" I am functional" replies Data
" HOW fully functional ?" demands Yar, smiling eagerly like a hungry little cougar.
" In every way!" responds Data
" You little Jewel" responds an ecstatic Tasha leading the helpless android away to an adjoining bedroom. Lucky devil.

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Paramount Pictures

In " Hollow Pursuits" Deanna Troi is programmed to respond affectionately by Reginald Barclay. Reg's fantasy holodeck re-creation characters are more real to him than the Enterprise crew. Hes having difficulty integrating with the Enterprise crew so the holodeck is the perfect diversion for him. Deanna's holocharacter is programmed as the Goddess of Empathy and is loving and caring. Indeed, as Barclay joins her, she says that she senses his confidence and arrogant resolve, and that it excites her. Feeling rejected and the need to get even at his crew mates, Reg creates the three musketeers.

We see a cheeky Captain Picard, a short, unimpressive, wandering Commander Riker, whom the real Deanna takes much pleasure in laughing at. "There's nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, as long as you don't let it take over," are her famous last words until Troi discovers the Goddess of Empathy. The real Deanna tries to deactivate her dopple ganger fast but Riker has other ideas. The grin soon vanishes from the Counsellor's smug face. Commander Riker, humiliated by the previous HoloRiker experience takes his time to enjoy a good belly laugh by watching Deanna squirm in front of The Goddess of Empathy.

No, no, this is part of Barclay's programme right? We can't delete her! Computer belay that order. Suffice to say, Reginald Barclay had allot of explaining to do.

Live Long and Prosper trekkers!


Green Salad said...

You need Kirk's "blue woman"... or was it green woman? I forget.

Spacerguy said...

It was Kirks green woman, starring Susan Oliver as the infamous green Orion slave woman.

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