Wednesday, August 09, 2017

SciFiVisions Parody

 A trekker I know withdrew from the original RPG Sci-Fi visions site a while ago, but at least the name lives on!. Heres what went down. Engineer Ernie was tranquilized sky high to oblivion for reasons which were completely illogical but because some other players weren't interested in collaboration.....

 There Ernie was pumped up with cordrazine like some science project isolated in Sickbay .... Believe me the USS Audacious RPG was the 23rd century version of the Titanic waiting to happen - which it did. Nubik vented in one quick post and well have fun reading.

First off, here's the inspirational poster for each sci-fi visions character:

T'Ehklah Ric Bermud Ernie V'ncent Aura Nubik

Now, a mini-post written in the style of each player.

V'ncent: "Kreena, beam us up!" says V'ncent. The planet suddenly explodes, taking the ancient population and its potential storyline for intervening in a civil war with it. The crew had beamed up only seconds earlier, but all other life forms were destroyed. "That was close," V'ncent says. "The planet has been destroyed," says Aura logically.

Ernie: Now wait just a darn minute - the whole planet blew up, just what in tarnation is going on? Does anyone have a clue whats going on?  We've got problems. Hey, let me out of here! help, someone, please. No no..... please not that again.


 Chief Engineer, Bermud: bermud beems down wit hipo cures all the peeple weres ernie?


Ric: Unknown to the rest of the crew, Blackhawk had been a researcher in an advanced science team working on transporter technology.

Ric calmly reconfigured the transporter pattern buffer for maximum compression using an implant in his left big toe, then transported the entire planet into the buffer mere seconds before the planet was destroyed.

 "I'll decompress it close to Terra and we'll just keep the bits we liked," he joked.


V'ncent: A destruction wave from the planet hit Audi broadside. "The ship is breaking up," said V'ncent. "But look, there's another ship nearby. Let's beam aboard." Nubik, feel free to emote something at this point.


Nubik: Nubik scanned the ship, detecting at least one life form on the bridge and a group of them in the cargo bay. "Aura, bring the hypos that the EMH and Diane developed, we haven't all had our anti-virus shots. Perhaps we should send a marine crew aboard to check if it's safe?"



T'Ehklah elbowed Nubik aside and scanned the ship quickly. "Audi, transport me directly to the bridge of that ship."

T'Ehklah knew instinctively that there would be a breathable atmosphere aboard the ship, just as she knew that there would be at most one lifeform on the bridge and some disposable lifeforms elsewhere. The lifeform spun around.

 "You!" it said. "Yes me! Now die!"

She swung her bat'leth in an arc and took the lifeform's two heads off in a single stroke. "The ship is safe to come aboard, I've taken the bridge," she sneered into her combadge, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. TAG: everyone! That's about it.

Live Long and Prosper.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That's why I have a bat'leth. Someday I'll put it to good use.

Birgit said...

Fun post and would love to say hi to the Vulcans and even the angry and passionate Andorians

Liz A. said...

Love those posters.

Spacer Guy said...

I participated in the RPG adventures of the USS Audacious. I wanted to join in the fun but other players as Nubik points out were too involved with themselves.

Spacer Guy said...

There was lots of swinging bat'leth action, phasers, do or die now stuff, Alex. There was no right or wrong characters simply threw themselves into the crossfire and came out the out end.

I know the Andorians would love to have you Birgit, your movie reviews are always full of hard hitting crispy facts, setting just the right atmosphere for our alien pals to sink their teeth into.

Liz, betcha your teachers wit is reflected in one of these posters.

Susan Kane said...

Do bat'leths come in lighter weight models for older women?

Spacer Guy said...

Excellent question Susan. In Star Trek's DS9 Season 4 premiere "The Way of the Warrior", Jadzia Dax actress Terry Farrell learned how to use a bat'leth prop, which she didn't find difficult. "I thought it was great," she enthused. "In fact, I wish I would have gotten to do more of it!" More opportunities for Farrell to use a bat'leth were given to her in later fourth seasons and onwards.

The Armchair Squid said...

Sounds like fun. Love the posters.

Spacer Guy said...

Thanks, A Squid whoever made them has a great sense of humor.

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