Monday, October 06, 2008

Sad Day for Mr Spock and Aliens

Fourteen years ago EU officials in Brussels took it upon themselves to boldly go where no sovereign power had dared to go before. It was a media circus and apparently the bad guys were focusing their sights on our good pal Mr Spock. Let me explain. A plan was devised by the bureaucrats to class our Star Trek hero, Mr Spock as an Illegal Alien along with the other non human dolls manufactured in China which the wise guys slapped a quota of $81.7 million on. No travel restrictions were placed on the human dolls/ action figures. Action man was free to go. So was Batman and Robin. The red carpet was rolled out for Captain Kirk. No-one defies Kirk not unless you want to get into a scrap and besides the captain always carries a phaser.



The humanity of every action figure and doll was put on the line and scrutinised by the money men. In the end, the word came down. It was a sad day for Mr Spock and Aliens everywhere. Spock, Noddy, Big Ears and Teddy bears fell victim by order of the hard liners in Brussels. There was no appeal. Star Trek fans, Trekkies and trekkers were disappointed by the EU decision and warned governments they shouldn't be meddling in the affairs of the Final Frontier. The President of the Official Star Trek Fan Club in Colorado, Dan Madsen said "Custom officials ought to cut Spock some slack" because Amanda, Mr Spock's mother was after all human!! Spock is half human. Okay, so he's half Vulcan too and was born with pointy ears! When news reached the UK, the British customs office showed no regret about their wrongdoings towards Mr Spock. "We see no reason to change our interpretation," said their agent Dez Barrett-Denyer. "You don't find a human with ears that size."

Live Long and Prosper Trekkies and Trekkers!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

William Shatner's Get a Life!

Heres William Shatner re-enacting his 1986 Saturday Night Live evil Captain Kirk speech at a Star Trek convention, with the help of his co-star trekkies who did a brilliant job. This spoof comedy is fun to watch.  Shatner gets a huge round of applause at the fake convention when he eventually back tracks. It was really the evil Captain Kirk's fault.

"Alright before I answer any more questions theres something I want to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have travelled...you know... hundreds of miles to be here. I'd just want to say.......GET A LIFE! will you people?

I mean for crying out loud, its just a TV show! I mean look at you; Look at how you're dressed." (Shocked trekkies with horrified expressions on their faces look around the room to examine each others clothes)



"You've turned an enjoyable little job, I did as a lark for a few years, into a colossal waste of time. (Shatners pretending to be furious now) I mean how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves?

You!! Shatner shouts out, (pointing to a guy wearing glasses and really pointy vulcan ears) you must be almost 30, have you ever kissed a girl? (The trekkie guy doesn't answer and instead hangs his head in shame) I didn't think so!" says Shatner who's only just getting warmed up. "

"Theres a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn't watch television, I lived! So move out of your parents' basements and get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP!! It's just a tv show dammit! It's just a tv show." declares shatner flabbergasted.

An innocent geeky guy wearing glasses and no spock ears in a yellow t shirt enquires from the front row. "Are you saying we should pay more attention to the movies?"

Shatners close to losing it now. "NO!!!! thats not what I'm saying at all!!! You guys are the lamest bunch that I've ever seen...... I mean I can't believe these people?....I mean, I really can't understand what I'm doing here." yells the mean Captain as he walks off the stage towards his manager at the sidelines.

In the convention audience I noticed a trekkie with his hands over his ears so he couldn't hear Shatners painful, blasphemous words. This spoof is absolutely priceless with the cheesy laughing in the background the whole time. 


A shoving match between Shatner and his manager ensues shortly after Bills ferocious facts of life speech with the trekkies/trekkers. After a serious row with his manager Bill realises he's screwed up big time with his fans. After a little confab Shatner returns to face his crestfallen trekkies.

"Of course that speech was a re-creation of the "Evil Captain Kirk", from uhhhh episode 37." Frozen like statues, Shatners beleaguered trekkies watch their hero with keen interest without saying a word. Shatners stammering now.



"The name...uhhhhhh"
(and his manager leans over and whispers the episode into the Shat's ear)
"The Enemy Within" which immediately restores Shatner's credibility with the trekkies/trekkers when they hear their Captain Kirk speaking their lingo. Shatners smiling now because his fans are responding with geekie laughter.
"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, so thankyou" he says joyfully, relieved. ".....and live long and prosper, so everybody set your phasers on stun, cos' this convention is ahead, Warp factor nine!"
"Horray, yay, yay, yay," cheer the trekkies.
"Alright, Warpfactor nine!" cheers Shatner as he exits.

Live Long and Prosper Trekkers and Trekkies!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Brent Spiner's Dreamland.

Brent Spiner will be making an appearance at New York megastore J&R Music World on Wednesday, August 27th at 12:30pm. He will be signing copies of his CD "Dreamland".

On the cd Mark Hamil supplies his voice over narrative for several characters with Brent Spiner and Maude Maggart in Dreamlands production of stories and songs. John "Mac" McKinney is the musical director who found Spiner an epic challenge.



Dreamland started as an idea with Brent Spiner and Maud Maggart using the studio to record the album. Brent started working with the idea of dreams as a concept. He cracks gags during the interview which is typical of Spiner. "I can't believe my phone is actually working in here. Its the first time ever I get a signal."

In the youtube video we see them kidding around with John McKinney who had his work cut out for him and isn't shy about saying so! Judge for yourself, the cd is an awesome musical mix of dreams that springs to life.

"What am I thinking?" says Brent to John Mc Kinney (sitting beside him at the piano) and the guy replies "Why I'm in the shot?" Brents looks up and lets out a zany laugh. "That was it." Its fun watching these two together,  almost like watching a comedy gig.

So Brent's Dreamland concept grew. After two years, it was decided to make a fun cd for fans with a theme of songs and moving love story for everybody to enjoy. Trekkers, Trekkies, Parents and whole families too. Why even a mother on youtube remarked that her babies loved the sound of the cd when she played it to them.


Photobucket
"Give me Dreamland Curse You!"

When Brent appeared on Johathan Swartz show  a song "Looking at You" sung by Maud Maggart was played.

Her voice was "such a miraculous thing to hear." declares Star Trek's android.

" I was totally captivated by the sound of her voice and I thought this is like the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I've got to have this young woman sing with me."

Maud sings "I remember you" with a mix of other musical notes on the cd.


I remember you,
Your the one that made my dreams come true,
A few kisses ago


I remember you-ooh
You're the one who made my dreams come true
A few kisses ago

I remember you-ooh
You're the one who said "I love you, too"
Yes, I do, didn't ya know?

I remember, too, a distant bell and stars that fell
Like the rain out of the blue-ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo

When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of it all
Then I shall tell them I remember you-ooh

I remember, too, a distant bell and stars that fell
Just like the rain out of the blue-ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo

When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of it all
Then I will tell them I remember, tell them I remember
Tell them I remember you

The sound guy said "Somebody used the phrase 'musical of the mind' and 'audio film' which I like" Its something strictly for your ears and imagination." Dreamland's has songs combined with a fascinating storyline which will place you in the heart of Dreamland. So prepare to embark on your adventure to a parallel universe in Dreamland, where you will encounter a fabric of reality where no earthie has ever gone before.

Live long and prosper Trekkers and Trekkies!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

In Spock We Trust

The following paragraph from William Shatners autobiography Up Till Now refers to Gene Roddenberry as the chiseler. The Shat's Gene/Leonard quotes are one way of stirring the coals but then ask yourself is it really possible to dream this stuff up?

"He was a chiseler who wanted a cut of outside money his cast earned, demanded to be called ‘master,’ and prohibited poor Nimoy from using a company pencil."

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I confess, this news does make for a spellbinding read. William Shatner was on Oprah Winfrey recently with his wife, Elizabeth. Up Till Now is packed with fascinating, cuting edge information, too real not to be true. My trek logic tells me that William Shatner would'nt publish material in his books that would jepordise his very good friendship with Leonard Nimoy and it is written really well, so enjoy, trekkers. Heres Leonard Nimoy's quoted conversation with Gene Roddenberry.

He looked at me and said, ‘The difference between your agent and me is that your agent can’t get you out of here at five o’clock on Friday and I can. And all it’ll cost you is twenty percent."
"Gene, I can’t do that to this agent,' I said. 'He got me the job."
"And then he said, and I will never forget his exact words, "Well, you’re just going to have to learn how to bow down and say master."


If it's true, well, Gene you old dog you, what a character. The master line is priceless. I love it and it just proves one thing. Gene Roddenberry had frailties like the rest of us earthlings.

I recounted Gene's bow down and call me master chat with Leonard Nimoy to a trekkie friend of mine and the guy burst out laughing. It is funny stuff to read. The sad part of this story is that, Leonard and Gene's conversation ended any semblance of a friendship between them. However we must'nt forget the fact that Gene Roddenberry insisted on keeping Mr Spock through both pilot episodes of the series when the Studio was uneasy about the character and said get rid of the "guy with the ears." Mr Spock endured the test of time and became a leading star of Star Trek TOS adored by his many vulcanophiles fans.

In spite of studio request to get rid of the "guy with the ears", Gene Roddenberry insisted on keeping the character through both pilot episodes of the series, and Spock became one of the most enduring symbols of Star Trek.

Live Long and Prosper Aliens and Trekkies!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Starfleet Communicator

Watch your trekkie mates faces crumple with despair when you take out your brand new Starfleet Communicator and do a "Beam me up Scotty" right in front of them. This little jewel can now be yours for $49.99, available at Amazon right now while stocks last. Not soon enough? If you need to indulge your trekkie cravings right now, then visit your online Roddenberry Star Trek Store and get a spinning moire electronic communicator upgrade for $159.95

This upgrade kit features authentic 2 sounds and 3 flashing lights (one green, one red, and one yellow). Once installed, this kit will make your Communicator come alive with the flip of the lid. The lid will actually activate the spinning moiré, sounds and lights just like on Star Trek!

Upon first activation the first longer tone will sound. Upon the second activation the second shorter chirp will sound. The 2 chirps will flip-flop back and forth on sequential activation. The kit comes with a drill bit, and a short follow along instruction manual that gives a step by step PICTURED instructions.

**With the proper skills, it is possible to install this kit into an already built prop. However, a brand new prop is always best. Batteries are not included with the kit.**



"Enterprise, this is Kirk." (Captain Kirk)
"Spock here, Captain." (Spock)
"Bridge here, Captain."
"Transporter room ready to beam up."
"Bridge, this is the captain." (Captain Kirk)
"Enterprise to Mr. Spock."
"Captain, shall I beam down an armed party?" (Spock, plays during call-back mode only)
"Scotty here, Captain." (Scotty)
Entertainment Earth exclusive bonus phrase! "Your signal is very weak; can you turn up your gain?" (Spock)


If I was telepathic, my powers of deduction would detect tortured trekkie minds crying out in despair right about now. So rather than incur your wrath, I shall come clean. Yes, there are cheaper Starfleet communicators. Are you sure you've got your trekkie outburst over with? Yes? Good. However, theres a glitch but its a little one considering the price reduction. Now check out Entertainment Earth You can thank me later. They have a similar Starfleet Communicator equipped with sound effects, clips from the classic Star Trek: The Original Series, lights, flip-open antenna, but I suspect no spinning moire, available for the spanking price $29.99.

Don't be caught on your next away mission without one of these handy lifesavers. Get set to beam yours up in September, 2010!

Live Long and Prosper, Trekkies!


Monday, May 19, 2008

Cruel Karu Calls Trekkies Braindead!!

Cruel Karu passed down a cruel sentence of damnation against all Trekkies and Trekkers in our galactic universe recently, it saddened me to think an earthling could be so bitter towards us. For his sake, I hope a Trekkie doesn't track him down and shoot the evil blasphemer with a phaser set at full stun, our people know how to deal with Trekkie treachery. Here are evil Karu's words, its blasphemy I say, just reading it crucifies my Trekkie feelings. Here are cruel Karu's words:

"This much for a load of fictional nonsense. just modern mythology thats all.
Trekkies are brain dead people, go get a life. Warp engines ?? Warp 10 ?? not in a Million years... Physics doesn't allow it you IDIOTS!!!"





Its clear the guy actually hates Trekkies, why he's even commenting on a Star Trek subject is beyond me. The good news is Trekkie Jonn, obviously a creature of pure logical reasoning has decided to educate Karu with the facts.


Karu said, "This much for a load of fictional nonsense. just modern mythology thats all. Trekkies are brain dead people, go get a life.
Warp engines ?? Warp 10 ?? not in a Million years... Physics doesn't allow it you IDIOTS!!!"

"Before you call anyone an idiot, please be kind enough to go back to your high school days and remember that while warp drive may be impossible according to Newtonian physics, it is merely improbable according to Einsteinium physics. Very big difference."

I like your style Jonn, real nice piece of logic. My advice to Karu is: get a phaser and sleep with it under your pillow. The Trekkies are coming to get you!

Live Long and Prosper Aliens and Trekkies

Sunday, May 11, 2008

My God Jim, He's Dead!

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My God He's Dead Jim.
Image Creator/Owner: Paramount Pictures or CBS Paramount Television.

It looks like James Tiberius Kirk doesn't care about his fallen security guard but nothing could be further from the truth. I made up some dialogue to fit the photo, for a few laughs.

Dr McCoy: My God Jim, he's dead!!!

Captain Kirk: Ahhhh to heck with him Bones, we've got bigger problems to worry about like the "Eyes of Vaal" and besides. Theres plenty more where he came from.

Spock: I'm the tallest, it should have been me.

Yeoman: Captain, that poor man has a family, aren't we going to bury him?

Captain Kirk: Nahh. His body is just a useless empty shell, now come on people! We've got a mission to complete.

Chekov: Yes Captain.

Here's a classic example of one of the USS Enterprises Security guys in a red t-shirt whos been killed on the homeworld of Akuta's people, Gamma Trianguli VI in the classic episode "The Apple." In Star Trek TOS, the red t-shirt was simply bad luck! Security guards beaming down to planets wearing these jinxed uniforms were cursed, sometimes they never even made it back to the USS Enterprise.


Vaal is a ruling computerlike god shaped in the form of a cavernous mouth with fangs and red glowing eyes a sure sign hes getting angry. Kirk's landing party upsets the unnatural peaceful balance enjoyed on Gamma Trianguli and deciding to take matters into his own hands, Kirk breaks the prime directive! No surprise there. Akuta's people worship Vaal and feed him from the holy templelike altar. Vaal must be obeyed who in turn looks after the people on Gamma Trianguli VI. Kirk's crew soon learn some very strange facts about the planet and Vaal orders Akuta to take action!

Live Long and Prosper, Aliens and Trekkies!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Trekkie or Trekker?

I discovered a book recently called Star Trek Memories with a curiously entertaining summary written by Entertainment Weekly. At first I thought their judgement was in error because the term Trekologists was used to describe Star Trek fans, so I googled it and yes, its on the internet, along with trekster, trekkie and trekker. Gene Roddenberry, the shows creator has spoken about the fans much like a proud father would of his children which thankfully has shed much light on the subject. It should be noted earthlings are entitled to call themselves whatever they want.

Mr Spock on the other hand, would simply raise his eyebrow and and say "Fascinating" and failing that he'd say: Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think "interesting" would suffice.
--Spock in 'The Squire of Gothos'

I believe Trekologists and trekster while entertaining are makey up words. Trekkie and trekker are the official terms for Star Trek fans just put "old age" and "modern" before them in that order and all will be revealed. Perhaps "old age trekkie" does sounds a bit mean but it wasn't my intention. So what is a trekkie?

Trekkies enjoying geeking out with other Star Trek fans because they are happy, logical creatures, extremely passionate about star trek. Quoting episodes comes quite naturally to them too. Trekkies can be can anyone from lawyer's to the guy who cuts grass for a living. Seeking out ways to satisfy our trek cravings is alleviated by visiting conventions and watching star trek on tv. In fact anything associated with trek like the Star Trek XI movie in 2009, the Star Trek Tours in America, Star Trek Roleplay games online etc gets us totally amped and augments the trekkie flames of passion burning in all of us. "Trekkers" on the other hand are the modern version of the Star Trek fan.

It goes without saying, that to even consider yourself a star trek fan you need to examine your own trekkie/trekker credentials.(I'm teasing you now.) Do you own your own personal phaser or communicator? Have you built any starship model ships? Can you list the best episodes, characters and technologies? How many books have you studied and which are the best ones? Who's the best captain? Theres a whole horde of star trek facts, several hundred trek episodes, trek memorabilia out there and I haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg. I am happy and proud to be called a "trekkie." Some trekkies such as James Cawley like to be called Star Trek Purists. If you can think of others, let the community know.

To get back to the trek synopsis, Let me explain first of all, that its a word for word writeup of William Shatner's Star Trek Memories with Chris Kreski. So far so good, until you read the end bit which gave me a bit of a chuckle. It starts like this....

The man who boldly went.....


William Shatner describes life on the set of a television show light-years ahead of its time in this collectable illustrated memoir. It's an in depth, insider's expose of the global cultural phenomenon known as Star Trek. Journey to the very beginning of the series, tour the set, hear members of the cast tell stories of how they came aboard the USS Enterprise, and so much more

Contains over 120 photographs and illustrations. And now for the best bit. Ready?

"This book should have Trekologists sifting through its pages for aeons to come" Entertainment Weekly






Live Long and Prosper, Aliens and Trekkers.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Across The Universe, Aliens and Trekkers!



Nina tagged me with this worthwhile cosmic cause which I couldn't resist. Its about an interplanetary call to aliens beings spanning 2.5 quadrillion miles away across the universe. I've been neglectful, this epic event took place on February 4th 2008 using Nasa technology which transmitted John Lennon's Beatles track "Across The Universe from our little planet. It still gives me great pleasure to tell you about this my trek readers.

We all have a soft spot for our alien friends but heres the scoop NASA's 45th anniversary of its Deep Space Network is in itself a truly momentous occasion.

The 40th aniversary of the song and the 50th anniversary of NASA. Trekkies fear not, John Lennon's song "Across The Universe" will have to transmit 431 light years away to reach the shining star Polaris. The songs journey involves 2.5 quadrillion miles across the galactic expanse spanning 431 lightspeed years. So you see a strong beam of light from the Polaris star will take 431 years to reach earth.



So if there are any bad guys out there in the Polaris Quadrant, hey listen up. Earths ready, we've got Captain Picard of the starship USS Enterprise within calling range, Captain Kirk, Spock and his Vulcan Logic, Five of starfleet's best engineers Scotty, Geordi, Bellana, Trip and Miles O'Brien. Lock and load phasers, quantum photon torpedoes ready.. The Federation fleet is armed and ready to send in the droids, omnipotent entities and its hungry tribble detectives.

Intergalactic travel for humans is probably hundreds of years away, but theres always the chance that earth will be discovered. ...by Aliens! Despite our failings "Nothings going to change my world" at least we have made the effort in these enlightened days, to reach out in friendship to our interstellar alien neighbours. I hope our green friends enjoy the music.

Live Long and Prosper, Aliens and Trekkers!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Star Trek Phase II

James Cawley aka Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise 1701 has positively boldly gone where no trekkie has gone before. Yes, our Internet Captain Kirk is a huge Trekker fan with specialist knowledge of Star Trek. Cawley's Internet production, Star Trek New Voyage's (phase II) resumes using the same Star Trek Original Series continuity. It picks up the thread where the USS Enterprise 1701 left off in 1969, with treasured Original Series actors and new talent adding cosmic greatness to satisfy our trek cravings. The internet universe has been alive with eager trekkers tuning in for more episodes ever since January 2004. Blood and Fire is a two part episode currently in post production with the completion date for Part I set for April 2008. There are several more episodes being written for the popular Star Trek Phase II show.

st new voyages

In 2264, Captain James T. Kirk began his first historic five-year mission as Captain of the Enterprise. Our TOS heroes Scotty, McCoy, Spock, Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Sulu and Chekov have entertained us with space battles and inspired us with fundamentally good human beliefs. Star Trek captains have always used reason over violence to negotiate with trigger happy villians, murderers and lunatics to prevent wars and loss of carbon life forms. Picard is a true master at negotiation. It does'nt always work though.

What impresses me the most about Starfleets officers is their tough resilient nature and interstellar survival skills. It takes rare gut instincts, theory, logic, training and experience to make a groovy starfleet captain. Their resolute minds of courage and firm belief in confronting and rooting out evil skins often leads to finding logical and scientific solutions. But its essential that starship captains can look beyond the empirical and see the bigger picture. As Captain, Kirk is responsible for all the lives and actions of his crew under his command.

When staring death in the face, it is vital that the captain's decisive mind make the best deduction and do it in a matter of seconds, leaving no stone unturned. Whole starsystems and thousands of lives have been saved by quick thinking and if that means "Mr sulu, set phasers to maximum intensity, Fire! Fire! Fire!" Then yes, we've seen the USS Enterprise neutralise many hostile enemy ships. Yesss! Make it so! Bye, Bye, Suckers!

Star Trek is great! People have discovered Star Trek's profound philosophy of peace with its postive interpretation of the future and they like it! After all who wants to live in a war torn universe with no hope for the future? Star Trek's sci fi characters have been our guides as we imagined warping with them to freaky new worlds on tv. They have been our protectors. They have invited us into their hearts and made us part of the trek family.

In fact, Kirk's crew became even more popular with star trek conventions, science fiction fanzines fan fictions, numerous books, memorabilia and multi million dollar movies following.


In April 2003 Star Trek New voyages was created by James Cawley and Jack Marshall. The first episode of the series was released in January 2004. In February 16th 2008, James Cawley announced that Star Trek "New Voyages" would be changing to the name Star Trek "Phase II to account for the period of time between the Original Series and Star Trek, The Motion Picture.







In Harms Way

We have been promised, my trek readers, by James Cawley himself that despite the shows name change, the show will remain focused on Star Treks original philosophy, wonderful starship designs, costume and set designs etc, and its fascinating characters. James Cawley describes himself as a purist, not a trekkie or trekker which is interesting in itself and as a self professed purist, he has produced Star Trek Phase II (New Voyages) with really classy sets, props, costumes and neat touches.

It looks like the Enterprise designs are detailed reproductions based on original blueprints. They're that good. James did'nt wan't to see the USS Enterprise 1701 or the show changed and its obvious Cawley's passion with his talented crew shining beside him speak volumes. Personally as a trekkie fan for over twenty years..." Captain the crew of the Enterprise are far exceeding the expectations of the many trekkers here on earth. These guys should feel really proud and I thankyou all. It looks like all James Cawley's hard work is now paying off with a lucky chance meeting at the Paramount Studios lot with J.J.Abrams. It actually led to the Phase II captain Kirk being offered a role in the Star Trek XI movie.

Live Long and Prosper, Trekkers!

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