Sunday, March 07, 2010

Captain Kirk vs Captain Picard

Captain James T. Kirk never hesitates in battle. Steady Phasers, Fire! Point blank! Fire! So you've gotta wonder, which Federation captain is the superior tactician? Is it Kirk or Captain Jean Luc Picard? Stupid question, maybe, nevertheless Captain Kirk fires point blank upon a 24th century Galaxy class, Federation starship and kicks her 641 meter ass, while Mr Spock's analytical brain pores over critical tactical data relayed from his Science station. Yes, Kirk has excellent lieutenants serving aboard his wee USS Enterprise NCC 1701 289 meter starship. Pitted against their original USS Enterprise NCC 1701, this encounter proves to be more than an interesting challenge for the officers aboard the flagship USS Enterprise NCC 1701-D, with the lovely Counsellor Deanna Troi, Geordi and Data demonstrating the only sparks of eagerness to save their ship.

Full phasers, Fire! Kirk never disappoints but Picard is a stickler for Federation rules, regulations and proper Starfleet procedure. So what happens?

"Hail them." commands Picard.
"No response." replies Worf.
The mystery ship is on a direct flightpath bearing down on the Enterprise-D. Captain Picard asks his bridge crew for suggestions before panic defeats his bridge officers with fear. He can't afford to lose control of the situation with his opponent.

"We have to get out of here, now!" warns Deanna. Lives were at stake after all, so what does Picard do? He should have listened to the counsellor and hightailed it outta there.

Meanwhile aboard Captain Kirk's ship, Sulu is smiling and with good reason. He's on the winning side! The word is finally given by Captain Kirk. Its a direct order from the Captain instructing Sulu to attack! Fire! Lay down a pattern! Fire! The Enterprise NCC 1701 launch their battle attack against Picard's technologically advanced, state of the art, Galaxy Class starship with Captain Kirk acting on Lieutenant Uhura's honeyed words, "No authorized Federation vessels in this quadrant." as just provocation.

So what happens next? The USS Enterprise-D shields are down, frustrating Worf, leaving the flagship totally exposed to enemy attack. Captain Jean Luc Picard orders Worf to hail the mystery ship while avoiding a direct collision course with the USS Enterprise 1701. At the same time Captain Kirk's ship is closing in for the kill! The Enterprise 1701 moves in on her prey and strikes at the very heart of Captain Picard's precious Flagship, penetrating her exterior structural and atmospheric integrity fields which finally fail, seriously compromising the interlocked tritanium/duranium space frame. The Bulkheads and structural emergency forcefields buy some time but its too late. Kirk's next sequel of photon torpedoes and phaser blasts de-stabilise the USS Enterprise-D's warp core.

Captain Picard diplomatic skill were worthless because Worf is unable to contact Captain Kirk's ship! The USS Enterprise NCC 1701-D's weakness was in her command structure which took far too long to realise that Kirk's little ship could decimate them. The attack by the original Starship Constitution Class on Picard's Galaxy Class flagship was a worst case scenario. Still, I suspect The Klingons would have applauded the USS Enterprise 1701 battle tactics which followed the Klingon Code of Honor without fail. Remember, Klingon's do not take prisoners.

Notice how shocked Captain Picard is when Captain Kirk turns up the heat and phasers the beleaguered USS Enterprise NCC 1701-D into a warp core breach. Sorry.....I mean... believe me, I do respect the United Federation of Planet's greatest diplomat. But c'mon trekkies, Captain Picard's expression of defeat says it all, don't you think? Kirk seized on the moment by using his wits and phasers and outsmarted the most noted captain in space exploration, science and interstellar diplomacy, combined. Mr Spock however, failed to grasp the significance of Uhura's direct communication with Starfleet confirming "No authorized Federation vessels in this quadrant" (in the unexplored region of the Typhon Expanse.!!!) Yet, Kirk still gave the order to Fire blind, Lay down a pattern! phasering his way past a formidable, peaceful starship and snuffing out over 1000 lives. Shame on Mr Spock who also failed to recognise the matching starship registry numbers with the USS Enterprise 1701 scanners!

Fire first, questions later. It seems highly unlikely that a smaller less powerful starship annihilate Captain Picard's Galaxy Class U.S.S. Enterprise-D but watch the clip. Kirk wasted no time with the "enemy unknown" stalking it to the very end. Captain Picard must have been sweating big time! Decide for yourself and enjoy watching the battle of wits, between both captains of the Enterprise!

Live Long and Prosper, Trekkies!


  1. Matthew10:50 AM

    That's gotta be a joke right? Kirk just fires on some random ship for NO reason. It's bullshit. To top it off EVERYTHING aboard Picard's ship just happens to fail. Those two captains and ships head to head in a FAIR fight, Kirk would have been destroyed. Also please see

  2. I was merely being logical Matthew by making a scientific comparison between two Federation starships depending on their captain's response times for the very survival of their ship and crew. Obviously, there can be but only one victor. If my data is flawed it could be because I'm human but then my findings were based on a Youtube's Kirk vs Picard!

  3. Matthew8:21 PM

    Fair enough. I have a bit of a sailor's mouth so my apologies if that came across as a personal attack. Also I didn't read your post in entirety, my response was simply directed towards the video. I think Picard would win, but to each his own.

  4. You have the qualities of a Klingon warrior defending his starship which is a very honourable trek characteristic.

    I have saluted Captain Picard's flagship features in my Star Trek The Next Generation. U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D post and highlight other things....which maybe put Riker and Picard in a spot. Yes, I know...just call me a cold blooded inhuman Denebian Slime Devil. LOL.

  5. Picard would kick Kirk's ass while quoting Shakespeare and sipping earl grey.

  6. Anonymous1:10 AM

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  7. Anonymous8:40 PM

    Qu'est-ce qu'un post-Nice. J'aime beaucoup la lecture de ces types ou des articles. Je peux t attendre de voir ce que les autres ont à dire.

  8. Anonymous10:43 PM

    ummm If you remeber he episode of star trek TNG "the emisary" there was a klingon ship that fired upon the USS enterprise-D with 75 year old weapons tech which was completely ineffective against the enterprise-d shields. so how in the world will a ship thats over 110 years older than the enterprise D will have any effect against it. not to mention that picard has all the technical specs of the NCC-1701

  9. Simple really. Mr Sulu obviously obtained the phase modulation frequency of the Enterprise-D's shields, rendering Captain Picard's flagship defenceless in the final attack.

  10. Fantastic idea, and I side with you on this one, Picard is a bit of a stickler which slows response. However I'm sure they have protocols for advances like a surprise attack and guerrilla tactics. I've seen episodes where such occured and Picard knows how to scream and react when the situation calls for it. Kirk in comparison is as swash buckling as Star Wars heathens when in comparison to the modern age federation. He was after all an "early" explorer whereas Picard is such but more from a defender approach, defending all of what has already been explored by Kirk, because seriously a big enough chunk to knaw on of the Universe has already been explored. All that's left is other dimensions. But no, I detract, we could keep going and going. How exciting! Early explorers must be a little more dashing since they're facing almost certain doom getting lost or destroyed by finding superior alien life forms. Picard is mostly following in old-schools footprints in a world supposing there won't be much more that hasn't already been written as far as technology and aliens and mysteries are concerned. Nice work, would love to see it, like Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris.

  11. Kirk's guile and hunger for victory threw a nasty curve ball at Picard's 'defender of the galaxy' approach catching him on the hop, Waalf. So much for Federation procedures.

    No room for diplomacy here, broken communications frustrate Worf, shields are the last hope and even they fail. Theres no getting away for Picard leaving the Enterprise-D stuck in a warzone against battle strategist Kirk. I guess this is Picard's worst interstellar nightmare come true, but still isn't it great watching Star Trek's captains slugging it out!

  12. Anonymous6:41 PM

    Oh so now Sulu can out think Data, is Sulu secretly borg? This is a joke, a better comparison would be to put Picard in a similar spaceship then you could make a real argument for Kirk.

  13. Okay Anonymous I LIKED your question so much, so thanks for giving me a good laugh. In hindsight its fair to say, I was kidding about the modulation frequency but I was kinda stumped myself and No Sulu isn't a Borg.

    Seriously why did Captain Picard attempt to communicate with Kirk's ship before running a shipwide level 1 diagnostic (to check out the Enterprise-D's main power systems) which failed drastically after their encounter with the mysterious timeshift phenomenon?

    Its really Picard's fault Worf couldn't raise the shields!


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