Starfleet Communicator

Watch your trekkie mates faces crumple with despair when you take out your brand new Starfleet Communicator and do a "Beam me up Scotty" right in front of them. This little jewel can now be yours for $49.99, available at Amazon right now while stocks last. Not soon enough? If you need to indulge your trekkie cravings right now, then visit your online Roddenberry Star Trek Store and get a spinning moire electronic communicator upgrade for $159.95

This upgrade kit features authentic 2 sounds and 3 flashing lights (one green, one red, and one yellow). Once installed, this kit will make your Communicator come alive with the flip of the lid. The lid will actually activate the spinning moiré, sounds and lights just like on Star Trek!

Upon first activation the first longer tone will sound. Upon the second activation the second shorter chirp will sound. The 2 chirps will flip-flop back and forth on sequential activation. The kit comes with a drill bit, and a short follow along instruction manual that gives a step by step PICTURED instructions.

**With the proper skills, it is possible to install this kit into an already built prop. However, a brand new prop is always best. Batteries are not included with the kit.**



"Enterprise, this is Kirk." (Captain Kirk)
"Spock here, Captain." (Spock)
"Bridge here, Captain."
"Transporter room ready to beam up."
"Bridge, this is the captain." (Captain Kirk)
"Enterprise to Mr. Spock."
"Captain, shall I beam down an armed party?" (Spock, plays during call-back mode only)
"Scotty here, Captain." (Scotty)
Entertainment Earth exclusive bonus phrase! "Your signal is very weak; can you turn up your gain?" (Spock)


If I was telepathic, my powers of deduction would detect tortured trekkie minds crying out in despair right about now. So rather than incur your wrath, I shall come clean. Yes, there are cheaper Starfleet communicators. Are you sure you've got your trekkie outburst over with? Yes? Good. However, theres a glitch but its a little one considering the price reduction. Now check out Entertainment Earth You can thank me later. They have a similar Starfleet Communicator equipped with sound effects, clips from the classic Star Trek: The Original Series, lights, flip-open antenna, but I suspect no spinning moire, available for the spanking price $29.99.

Don't be caught on your next away mission without one of these handy lifesavers. Get set to beam yours up in September, 2010!

Live Long and Prosper, Trekkies!

Cruel Karu Calls Trekkies Braindead!!

Cruel Karu passed down a cruel sentence of damnation against all Trekkies and Trekkers in our galactic universe recently, it saddened me to think an earthling could be so bitter towards us. For his sake, I hope a Trekkie doesn't track him down and shoot the evil blasphemer with a phaser set at full stun, our people know how to deal with Trekkie treachery. Here are evil Karu's words, its blasphemy I say, just reading it crucifies my Trekkie feelings. Here are cruel Karu's words:

"This much for a load of fictional nonsense. just modern mythology thats all.
Trekkies are brain dead people, go get a life. Warp engines ?? Warp 10 ?? not in a Million years... Physics doesn't allow it you IDIOTS!!!"





Its clear the guy actually hates Trekkies, why he's even commenting on a Star Trek subject is beyond me. The good news is Trekkie Jonn, obviously a creature of pure logical reasoning has decided to educate Karu with the facts.


Karu said, "This much for a load of fictional nonsense. just modern mythology thats all. Trekkies are brain dead people, go get a life.
Warp engines ?? Warp 10 ?? not in a Million years... Physics doesn't allow it you IDIOTS!!!"

"Before you call anyone an idiot, please be kind enough to go back to your high school days and remember that while warp drive may be impossible according to Newtonian physics, it is merely improbable according to Einsteinium physics. Very big difference."

I like your style Jonn, real nice piece of logic. My advice to Karu is: get a phaser and sleep with it under your pillow. The Trekkies are coming to get you!

Live Long and Prosper Aliens and Trekkies

My God Jim, He's Dead!

Image Creator/Owner: Paramount Pictures or CBS Paramount Television.

It looks like James Tiberius Kirk doesn't care about his fallen security guard but nothing could be further from the truth. I made up some dialogue to fit the photo, for a few laughs.

Dr McCoy: My God Jim, he's dead!!!

Captain Kirk: Ahhhh to heck with him Bones, we've got bigger problems to worry about like the "Eyes of Vaal" and besides. Theres plenty more where he came from.

Spock: I'm the tallest, it should have been me.

Yeoman: Captain, that poor man has a family, aren't we going to bury him?

Captain Kirk: Nahh. His body is just a useless empty shell, now come on people! We've got a mission to complete.

Chekov: Yes Captain.

Here's a classic example of one of the USS Enterprises Security guys in a red t-shirt whos been killed on the homeworld of Akuta's people, Gamma Trianguli VI in the classic episode "The Apple." In Star Trek TOS, the red t-shirt was simply bad luck! Security guards beaming down to planets wearing these jinxed uniforms were cursed, sometimes they never even made it back to the USS Enterprise.


Vaal is a ruling computerlike god shaped in the form of a cavernous mouth with fangs and red glowing eyes a sure sign hes getting angry. Kirk's landing party upsets the unnatural peaceful balance enjoyed on Gamma Trianguli and deciding to take matters into his own hands, Kirk breaks the prime directive! No surprise there. Akuta's people worship Vaal and feed him from the holy templelike altar. Vaal must be obeyed who in turn looks after the people on Gamma Trianguli VI. Kirk's crew soon learn some very strange facts about the planet and Vaal orders Akuta to take action!

Live Long and Prosper, Aliens and Trekkies!