Heres William Shatner re-enacting his 1986 Saturday Night Live evil Captain Kirk speech at a Star Trek convention, with the help of his co-star trekkies who did a brilliant job. I nearly split my sides LMAO. This spoof comedy is so funny! This speech actually happened and later Shatner got a huge round of applause at a real convention when he suggested it wasn't him saying it. It was the evil Captain Kirk.
"Alright before I answer any more questions theres something I want to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have travelled...you know... hundreds of miles to be here. I'd just want to say.......GET A LIFE! will you people? I mean for crying out loud, its just a TV show! I mean look at you; Look at how you're dressed." (Shocked trekkies with horrified expressions on their faces look around the room to examine each others clothes)
"You've turned an enjoyable little job, I did as a lark for a few years, into a colossal waste of time. (Shatners pretending to be furious now) I mean how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves? You!! Shatner shouts out, (pointing to a guy wearing glasses and really pointy vulcan ears) you must be almost 30, have you ever kissed a girl? (The trekkie guy doesn't answer and instead hangs his head in shame) I didn't think so!" says Shatner who's only just getting warmed up. "
"Theres a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn't watch television, I lived! So move out of your parents' basements and get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP!! It's just a tv show dammit! It's just a tv show." declares shatner flabbergasted.
An innocent geeky guy wearing glasses and no spock ears in a yellow t shirt enquires from the front row. "Are you saying we should pay more attention to the movies?"
Shatners close to losing it now. "NO!!!! thats not what I'm saying at all!!! You guys are the lamest bunch that I've ever seen...... I mean I can't believe these people?....I mean, I really can't understand what I'm doing here." yells the mean Captain as he walks off the stage towards his manager at the sidelines.
In the convention audience I noticed a trekkie with his hands over his ears so he couldn't hear Shatners painful, blasphemous words. This spoof is absolutely priceless with the real audience laughing in the background the whole time. A shoving match between Shatner and his manager ensues shortly after Bills ferocious facts of life speech with the trekkies/trekkers. After a serious row with his manager Bill realises he's screwed up big time with his fans. Shatner walks back to face the destroyed trekkies.
"Of course that speech was a re-creation of the "Evil Captain Kirk", from uhhhh episode 37." Frozen like statues, Shatners beleaguered trekkies watch their hero with keen interest without saying a word. Shatners stammering now.
(and his manager leans over and whispers the episode into the Shat's ear)
"The Enemy Within" which immediately restores Shatner's credibility with the trekkies/trekkers when they hear their Captain Kirk speaking their lingo. Shatners smiling now because his fans are responding with geekie laughter.
"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, so thankyou" he says joyfully, relieved. ".....and live long and prosper, so everybody set your phasers on stun, cos' this convention is ahead, Warp factor nine!"
"Horray, yay, yay, yay," cheer the trekkies.
"Alright, Warpfactor nine!" cheers Shatner as he exits.
Live Long and Prosper Trekkers and Trekkies!
This work by Spacerguy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial 3.0 United States License.
Based on work at startrekspace.blogspot.com.