Sunday, July 24, 2011

Thesaurus Trekkie Sacrilege

I was warping across the Internet recently, when my deep space sensor sweeps detected some very suspect readings slagging off Trekkies. I wonder is someone from the darkside having a laugh at us? Now that wouldn't be hard, would it? Everybody has seen the pictures of Barbara Adams donned in her starfleet jury uniform and what about the trekkers with the ears who bump into you at the supermarket? Sigh I've got to wise up to the fact that I'm fated to be a trekologist for the rest of my days. Alas, its true. I'm no different. I watch Star Trek everyday. Sometimes I get an adrenalin rush that shocks my logical thought processes into hyperdrive, hehe. At my age I should know better but sometimes I just can't resist the temptation to come out of the closet as vaderspacer, but only on special occasions, LOL) So much for my stern vulcan disciplines!

But really, I just couldn't let this one go without first having a pop at the darkside geeksters responsible for what I'm calling trekkie sacrilege. Now this is where it gets better. After completing deep space sensor analysis of my scientific readings had finally pinpointed the prime location for several trekkie violations! Imagine my surprise when my eyes saw the word "weirdo" sitting right beside "trekkie." A strange, searing, sensation shot through my whole body as I struggled to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Be warned fellow Trekkies, set your phasers on maximum before venturing any further.

The pain numbs a little when you see "techie" but the blows just keep on rolling with dolt, dork, dweeb, fool, goober, goofball, jerk and oaf adding more black eyes to this swollen list of trekkie jabs. I made this discovery completely by accident and in accordance with Starfleets Articles of Federation, I felt it my duty to report my findings to you. It has to be acknowledged is a totally awesome source of inspiration. But it saddened me to think a human could be so miffed with so little regard for our trekkie feelings. I hope the blasphemer in question sleeps with a fully charged phaser under their bedspread. Our people know how to deal with trekkie treachery, LOL.

But seeing is believing! Right? Well judge for yourselves. In order to establish universal justice and insure galactic tranquility, we "The Trekkies" must contact and enlighten our earthling neighbours standing in judgement against us. Star Trekking enthusiasts must stand united to defend, promote and secure liberty for all within our United Federation of Planets. If you feel duly affected or soiled by this thesaurus trek patter then engage your trekkie powers right now!

Expel this penalty box to the remote reaches of the galaxy dumping on our fine, outstanding, Trekkie reputations.

Select your preference from one of the following motions (1 to 10)

1= We will Lower our forcefields and allow the darkside to conquer us.
2= Set Phaser to Stun.
3= Meh. Trekkies can take pain.
4= Live and Let Live man.
5= I am a Peaceful Trekkie/Trekker.
6= Resistance is Futile Assimilate This!
7= Wheres Nicky the Nose?
8= Set Phasers to overload.
9= Klingons Do Not Take Prisoners!.
10= We Demand Starfleet Justice!

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Main Entry:nerd
Part of Speech:noun
Synonyms:dolt, dork, dweeb, fool, goober, goofball, jerk*,oaf, techie, trekkie , weirdo
Notes:a geek is any smart person with an obsessiveinterest, a nerd is the same but also lacks socialgrace, and a dweeb is a mega-nerd


M Pax said...

Weirdo? For loving Star Trek? I say that pegs them as the weirdos.

Spacerguy said...

Exactly. Wheres my phaser? Resistance is Futile Assimilate This!

Maurice Mitchell said...

That is a strange one. I never thought of the dictionary as an editorial page. 10 for me!

spacerguy said...

I try to seek out ways to satisfy trek cravings but when I discovered this, Ahh its like the USS Enterprise had a warpcore breach and melted my head. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Youre not the general blog writer, man. You definitely have something important to contribute to the net. Such a great blog. Ill come back again for more.

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