Scotty's Laws of Physics

1. Call me Scotty. I may be captain by rank... but I never wanted to be anything else but an engineer.
2. Never let Mr Spock know exactly what your thinking... Vulcans are greedy for knowledge and want to read your mind.
3. Don't react when Klingons call Captain James T. Kirk a tin plated over bearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of Godhood. Keep your cool, sit down and finish your drink. Its simply not worth fighting about.
4. Don't be fooled by Shapeshifters. When in doubt speak in code and defeat your enemies with puzzles they cannot answer.
5. "Starship captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. The secret is to give them what they need, not what they want.
6. A fused dilithium crystal converter defies the laws of physics when trying to repel Klingon warships. The warp engines will not restore power to the phasers and shields without additional dilithium. Fortunately raw crystal necklaces are just as powerful as the Dohlman of Elas's tears.
7. Never make fun of Scotty's Excelsior, insult something he cares about instead like the Enterprise.
8. Never confuse the emergency bypass control valve for the matter/antimatter reaction chamber with emergency transporter bypass circuits.
9. No woman has been known to win Scotty away from his beloved ships. Lt Carolyn Palamas, a pretty young officer serving in the Enterprise's Archeology and Anthropology department came close but the Greek God Apollo stole her affections.
10. Always stand up to Klingons who insult the USS Enterprise NCC 1701. Shes not a Garbage Scow and will never be hauled away as garbage. We're big enough to take a few insults but the Enterprise is a matter of pride worth defending. Stick to your phasers on this!
11. Picard's Aldebaran whisky packs quite a punch. The 24th century has synthetic commanders and synthetic scotch. Scotty is not impressed. In Relics, Data offers Scotty a real drink. Strong and alcoholic, Dr. Leonard H. McCoy would approve. A bottle of the green stuff will help solve complex engineering problems every time.
12. Mr Scott has said "You 'cannae beat the finest scotch in all the Galaxy." Montgomery's scotch whiskey.


13. Prewarp cultures are the forbidden fruit in the Universe. The Prime Directive forbids interference with their development. Contact with the natives is forbidden except for Captain Kirk....of course!
14. Never tell the captain how long it really takes to run a diagnostic or fix the dilithium crystal converter if you value your reputation as a miracle worker.
15. Wise up on the latest Engineering technologies in your Starfleet Technical Manual and forget about shoreleave unless ordered by the Captain.
16. A good engineer will always understate how much pressure a starship engine can take in his engineering log.
17. "Condition Green" is covert Starfleet code telling you that Captain Kirk is in trouble with the natives again.
18. Make sure to thank your Captain when ordered "Confined to quarters until further notice." This is a rewarding experience just for you. Hes giving you a chance to read up on your technical journals.
19. When the ship is in danger of blowing up, ignore Scotty's design specifications including the pressure variances in regulation 42/15. Mr Scott wrote it. "A good engineer is always conservative on paper."
20. Be prepared to brave the unknown and take risks with minutes to spare. A good engineer is capable of bypassing errant computers and jury-rigging malfunctioning warpdrives which will place you in peril close to high voltage currents, odd power surges, radiation, coolant leaks, exploding consoles and warpcore breaches.
21. A master engineer can tell how fast a starship is travelling by the feel of the deck plates.
22. Its the Chief Engineers job to know his starships engines inside out, so use your wits to chill the Captain and save the Enterprise in your own sweet time.
23. Deep down everyone knows Scotty.


Live Long and Prosper, trekkies and trekkers..

Time travel concepts

In H.G. Wells Time Machine, the time traveller shares his wondrous and terrifying voyages which interprets the nature of time in worlds the traveller visits. He projects himself far into a future where man has evolved into two distinct species rooted in time proving that the space time continuum is fixed and can't be changed. Looking at this phenomenon, time travel can be achieved in so many different ways.


1. The Time Machine was introduced in 1895.
2. The Guardian of Forever was a sentient arch pulsating with power that created a new beginning for entire civilisations just by stepping through its time portal.
3. A slingshot around the sun did the trick in Star Trek IV.
4. Suspended animation is another way for the time traveller to visit the future. He awakens from his deep freeze cryogenic sleep and experiences the culture shock.
5. Back to the Future features Marty McFy going back through time in his beefed up DeLorean time-machine in 1985.

What is your favorite time travel theory? H.G. Wells Time Machine, where the constant flow of history is fixed in time or Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek universe where time travel can radically alter the evolution of the timeline?

Live Long and Prosper, Time travellers.

The Naked Now TNG

The Naked Now is the second episode of Star Trek The Next Generation written by John D.F Black and J. Michael Bingham, directed by Paul Lynch. This story borders on the classic episode "The Naked Time." In 2364, the crew of U.S.S. Enterprise NCC 1701-D encounter the distressed science ship S.S. Tsiolkovsky which has been routinely monitoring the collapse of an unstable red giant. A mystery plagues the Tsiolkovsky ship with the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC 1701-D responding to a series of strange messages confirming something has gone amiss aboard the research vessel.

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The happy Tsiolkovsky crew are determined to have a wild party with frenzied enthusiasm but blow themselves into space when an emergency hatch is blown..... Captain Picard gives the signal for Riker's away team to beam over and establish the facts however, the Tsiolkovsky enigma grows even deeper when Commander Riker reports the entire ship's crew is dead and blown out the airlocks. Captain Picard is shocked to discover eighty people are dead apparently by their very own hands. The science vessel's bridge is open to space and a variant of the Psi 2000 virus has contaminated the Tsiolkovsky which infects the U.S.S. Enterprise-D crew.

Image Owner/Creator:Paramount Pictures and/or CBS Studios

On their return to the U.S.S. Enterprise-D crew members start behaving very strangely. Geordi La Forge is the first to be confined to Sickbay suffering from unusual behaviour and profuse sweating. Picard and Beverly find themselves at the mercy of a virulent virus which spreads like wildfire throughout the flagship USS Enterprise-D. The ship's Chief of Security Tasha Yar abandons her post and seduces the android Mr. Data who informs her he is fully functional and capable of multiple techniques. Data words bring joy and happiness to Tasha ears and a huge smile to her face. Its Datas lucky day!

Image Owner/Creator:Paramount Pictures and/or CBS Studios

The mind twister here is how did the virus get past the Enterprise transporter "maximum decontamination" filtering systems? Commander Riker and Data launch an investigation into the old U.S.S. Enterprise NCC 1701 historical records and discover a reference that can cause water molecules to mutate into an alcohol substance. Picard's crew are acting weird because they're drunk!



Image Owner/Creator:Paramount Pictures and/or CBS Studios

The Enterprise NCC 1701-D crew are spreading the intoxication virus throughout their Federation starship through human contact with each other. Mr. Data retrieves a cure from the ships computer records but when Chief Medical Officer, Dr Beverly Crusher replicates the Psi 2000 medicine, it has no effect. To make matters even worse a drunk Wesley is playing captain in Main Engineering and has sabotaged bridge control of the engines placing the U.S.S. Enterprise in grave danger....

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The U.S.S.Enterprise-D's plight deepens when we learn the ship is paralysed and in the direct line of fire from an expanding red giant star which collapses into a white dwarf spewing stellar core matter towards it. Meanwhile Riker deactivates Wesley's repulser beam blocking the door to Engineering and reports to the bridge. Someones pulled out all the Isolinear Chips that control the ships propulsion systems.



Image Owner/Creator:Paramount Pictures and/or CBS Studios

Why did Commander Riker expend so much time bypassing Wesleys repulser contraption? Logic dictated he should have just beamed into Engineering with Mr Data in tow.....*except* It was Wesley's idea to use Data to replace the isolinear chips which saved the entire ship from disaster! Actually I was surprised how natural the crusher boy performs in this episode. Data's knowledge of the Enterprise systems allows Wesley to use his "repulser beam" instead of engaging the ships tractor beam which was offline.


Image Owner/Creator:Paramount Pictures and/or CBS Studios

The U.S.S. Enterprise-D is launched away from the Tsiolkovsky in time for viewers to see the stellar core matter pulverize the oberth class starship and blow it to smithereens with a huge KABOOM! The Enterprise-D gains enough velocity and time to escape because Data reactivated the engines isolinear chips. Data played by Brent Spiner is the top man in this episode. It was fun watching the "android" smiling too and his conversation with Captain Picard on the bridge added a nice human touch all round, considering Data was drunk too from the strange water molecules!"




"If you prick me do I not bleek?"

"There was a woman from Venus whose body was shaped like a........"

"Thankyou Mr Data!"

Live Long and Prosper, Trekkers and Trekkies