T is for T'Kon Empire

T is for T'kon Empire. In Star Trek TNG episode of 'The Last Outpost,' Commander Data gives a little talk to his to his Enterprise-D buddies. Captain Picard explains hes never heard the word T'Kon before. Data turns on a holographic projection covered with extinct alien looking T'Kon language.

Apparently, the T'Kon Empire ruled the galaxy 600,000 years ago. According to legend, these planets were outposts of that empire, explains Data. So far so good, until the operations manager picks up one of the toys left behind by one of the kids. Gottcha!!! Its hilarious watching super- android Data struggling to free himself when his forefingers get STUCK TOGETHER!

PICARD
Data. What are you doing?

DATA
Apologies, Captain. I seem to have reached an odd functional impass. I am, ah... Stuck.

PICARD
Then get unstuck and continue your briefing.

DATA
Yes, sir. That is what I am trying to do... But the solution eludes me.

GEORDI (laughs)
My hero.

Zoe Saldana

S is for Zoe Saldana aka Princess Neytiri in Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time.

33 year old Zoe is the gal in Star Trek's prequel and J.J. Abram's hush hush Star Trek sequel due out in 2013. Our new 'Uhura' has taken over Nichelle Nichol's job aboard the USS Enterprise NCC 1701 sniff. Shes now the head honcho in communications stealing our hearts and minds with her talented linguistic tongue. I already miss those "Hailing frequencies open, Captain" but hey at least we can warp back in time!

The name 'Nyota Uhura' once translated means 'Star of Freedom' in Swahili. One of Star Trek's greatest mysteries is why Uhuras christian name was never even uttered in the classic series or movies until recently in Star Trek 2009. You'll remember Nyota comforts Spock on the turbo lift and later we see the two of them canoodling in the transporter room. Kirks hounding of Mr Spock pays off big time when they're all on the transporter. The sly little vulcan finally says her name 'NYOTA' for the first time in the new trek verse ending decades of debate worldwide and random speculation in books.

The question is how do you feel about more Spock and Uhura canoodling in the new Star Trek movie 2013?

Perhaps Vulcan self restraint and the Pon Farr mating rictuals aren't so plain and hopeless after all? Logic dictates that under the circumstances the only logical action would have to be one of desperation. Logical decision, Logically arrived at.

Quark

Q is for Quark but who is he? In Star Trek DS9 Armin Shimerman appears as the greedy Ferengi who runs the bar and gambling casino on the station's promenade. His love for gold pressed latinum constantly gets him into scrapes with the law.

Fortunately our silver tongued friend has no scruples about telling yarns to save his own neck. In Star Trek TNG he played the Ferengi who spoke the most lines in 'The Last Outpost.'

Shimmerman is an old hand at science fiction having starred in Beauty and the Beast and Alien Nation previously. Armin initially had some misgivings about the extensive makeup required but a chat with Michael Dorn soon helped the actor come to grips with being stuck in a chair for hours. Shimmerman is definitely one of the more expressive Star Trek actors on Deep Space Nine but this fact is often missed because his face is always hidden behind a mask of gew.

Quark also runs 'holosuites' where any fantasy of your dreams can be played out for the right price. Every good Ferengi follows the Ferengi Code with religious devotion from an early age.

Years ago I snook in an extra rule into the Ferengi Code, can you spot which one isn't the real McCoy?

What fantasies would you like to play out in Quark's holosuite?

P is for the Picard Song

P is for the Picard Song! Heres Patrick Stewart live and in the flesh....SINGING an A to Z special in hilarious form! I've added the lyrics so you can have some fun and sing along! Its not often we hear the captain of the Enterprise-D singing a tribute for Star Trek's creator, Gene Roddenberry. I wonder could this be the same Jean Luc Picard we've all come to know, love and serve under during our galactic trek through the stars?

Perhaps its high time to sing the Picard song?

“Mr. Crusher, set course for Starbase…
A–Gene, you’re adorable.
‘B,’ you’re so beautiful.
‘C,’ you’re a cutie full of charm,
‘D,’ you’re a darling, and ‘E’ you’re exciting,
And ‘F,’ you’re a feather in my arms.
‘G,’ you look good to me,
‘H,’ you’re so heavenly,
‘I,’ you’re the one I idolize.
‘J,’ we’re like Jack and Jill.
‘K,’ you’re so kissable.
‘L’ is the love light in your eyes.
M-N-O-P, I could go on all day.
Q…’Q'? R-S-T, alphabetically speaking, you’re ok.
‘U’ make my life complete.
‘V’ means you’re very sweet.
W-X-Y-Zed!
It’s fun to wander through
The alphabet with you.
To tell you what you mean to…Engage!”

Old Earth Satellite

O is for Old Earth Satellite. The USS Enterprise NCC 1701-D encounters frozen bodies in Star Trek TNG episode of 'the neutral zone.' The strange thing is these humans died over 300 years ago on planet earth!

All is definitely not what it seems. Data the android is fascinated by the 20th century Old Earth Vessel and is itching to investigate. Blackbeard reluctantly gives his officers the green light. Together Worf and Data beam aboard only to discover three humans in a deep freeze cryogenic sleep!

The question facing Data now is what to do with them? A mystery also surrounds the destruction of Federation and Romulan outposts marking the arrival of the United Federation of Planet's secretive neighbours, the Romulans after 50 years of silence. Captain Picard's return to the USS Enterprise-D reveals the man is not a happy camper. Data's and Dr Beverly Crusher shenanigans only makes matters worse. The good doctor has little choice but to thaw out the Enterprise's new passengers, apparently. Picard is unimpressed.

I am never critical of any member of my staff being curious, but... the timing is just so...
DATA
I could not leave them there, Captain. The condition of the vehicle was deteriorating.
PICARD
But, Data -- they were already dead. I mean... what more could have happened to them?
DATA
I see your point, Captain, but at the time...

What would you have done?

Nomad

N is for Nomad but who or what is he? Nomad appears in an epic Star Trek classic episode of 'the changeling' voiced by Vic Perrin.

In 2002 this ancient space probe leaves earth on a peaceful mission, to seek out new lifeforms!...... On its interstellar journey Nomad encounters 'Tan Ru' another of its kind. Quite by accident a merging of computerized minds unites and becomes one. A new far superior device evolves from the joining with an entirely new mission. To seek out and destroy!

In a way this episode reminds me of V'ger from Star Trek The Motion Picture. Both machines are sentient however all is not what it seems. Neither Nomad or V'ger can comprehend human beings or our simple feelings! Despite Nomads vast knowledge imbedded into his data assimilation digital encoder, Earths 21th century space probe now believes humans are the enemy, imperfect in every way! We are to be exterminated! However, the machines mission of perfection soon proves to be its deadly weakness.

It mistakes Captain Kirk for his creator proving once and for all, Nomad too makes human-like errors!

CAPT. KIRK
I am the Kirk, the creator?
NOMAD
You are the creator.
CAPT. KIRK
You're wrong! Jackson Roykirk, your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. You are in error. You did not discover your mistake. You have made two errors. You are flawed and imperfect and you have not corrected by sterilisation. You have made three errors.
NOMAD
Error. Error. Error. Examine.
KIRK
You are flawed and imperfect! Execute your prime function!
NOMAD
I shall analyse error. Analyse error,
KIRK
Now. Get those antigravs on it.
NOMAD
Examine error. Error.

Make It So

M is for Make it so! Watch for these signs, its easy to get hooked when Star Trek is warping through the galaxy on TV! Wide staring eyes, tingling sensation all over the body, hairs standing up on the neck, sweating hands and racing heartbeats are all logical indications that the nervous system has gone into sudden warp drive.

The mystique appeal of future space travel and seeking out strange new lifeforms keeps us on the edge of our seats. You find yourself standing up to say "MAKE IT SO and ENGAGE" during the movie. Trek adrenalin floods the bloodstream sending your buddies into an equally euphoric emotional state, momentarily stimulating everyones cosmic thought pathways. Is it possible Star Trek has engaged you? The situation is grim because now you have to explain your emotional outbursts.

You are found guilty for blurting out 'MAKE IT SO!'

All indications are.....you might be a Trekkie!

Beam me up, Scotty!

Live Long and Prosper.

L is for Live Long and Prosper!

There have been times when William Shatner's Kirk persona saved his neck just in the nick of time.. Once, scheduled to film an early morning desert scene, Shatner donned his Captain's uniform at home and drove his automobile at warp speed to make the set for the 4am deadline.

"I didn't think there would be any other traffic," he says "There was. A police car with flashing lights pulled me over."

When asked where he was going, Shatner replied "To My spaceship." The police officer sighed and sent him on his way.

"Not without telling me to "Live Long and Prosper."

Star Trek TNG Offspring

K is for Kristina Kochoff who starred as an uncredited andorian n Star Trek TNG. In this episode of "the Offspring", Commander Data transfers android daughter Lal's entire process of existence into his own positronic brain. You see Data was Lal's father, creating Lal in 2366 using his own brain as a template.

He nurtures and brings a unique sentient android (played by Hallie Todd) to life so he could have an offspring. All seemed jolly fine on the surface, once Lal chose her own appearance she was able to emulate humans and their odd behaviour, use verbal contractions and eventually exceed even the parameters of her own fathers sophisticated programming... Lal was able to FEEL......EMOTIONS! How could this happen?

Starfleet's Patriarch Admiral Haftel beams aboard the USS Enterprise NCC 1701-D to take control of the Lal situation. Apparently he wants to acquire android Lal like you would a piece of technology, to study her. Haftel is a hard nosed, cold hearted brute who crushes Lal's emotional happiness. The cruel beast declares her the property of Starfleet without so much as considering Lal's personal needs. Captain Picard is horrified and objects but Admiral Haftel is adamant. 'I am Starfleet, Captain' growls Haftel at Picard through gritted teeth. Poor Lal. She never stood a chance and experiences extreme fear and confusion. The situation is grim. Lal returns to Datas lab just before the end of her life and then finally we understand why.

                                                     "It just wasn't meant to be."

A cascade failure in her neural net has caused irreparable, permanent positronic systems failure. Lal's neural net is slowly shutting down from emotional overload. Despite being capable of 60 trillion operations per second even her father Data cannot save her.

Star Trek's 'The Offspring' really is a heart breaking episode. I believe Lal died because she was heartbroken!

Data: "Lal? I am unable to correct the system failure."
Lal: "I know."
Data: "We must say goodbye now."
Lal: "I  F-E-E-L"
Data: "What do you feel, Lal?

Lal: I love you, Father."

Data: I wish I could feel it with you."

Lal: "I will feel it for both of us. Thank you for my life. Flirting. Laughter. Painting. Family. Female.

H--U--M--A--N."

Jellico

J is for Jellic remember him? He completes a short stint in Star Trek TNG. In 2369 Captain Jellico is assigned to command the USS Enterprise NCC 1701 while Picard, Beverly and Worf get reassigned to a special black ops mission on Cestris III.

Commander Riker tries to communicate the crews concerns abouts Jellicos latest crew restructuring but its no dice. Jellico never raises his voice, but his tone becomes far colder and harder.


You will tell the department heads that as of now, the Enterprise is on a four shift rotation.

I don't want to talk about it. Get it done!